Thanks to /u/throwboats for pouring me this sample.

I walk into my large, 360 degree At TOModera review industries, made by the literal 10s of dollars I’ve made from reviews. As I look down from the 100th floor, my meek assistant walks in with a concerned look on her face.

“Excuse me, your lord and saviour of whisky, we have a concern.”

I smile as she calls me that. I required it in order to keep up the constant ego stroking I require.

“A concern? Not with my reviews. They are, by design, perfect.” I add in some anger to make sure she knows her place. I am a sexist and need to feel stronger than women, what with needing it due to my inability to speak to women and a fear of my own sexuality.

“Oh, no sir! I mean, lord and saviour! I mean… well, you’ve done so…